My Wonderful College Life

Thanks for smoking me out on the way to the airport, but I wish you hadnt givin me the good stuff because being so stoned you start to giggle and have a hard time touching the touch screen buttons, and then not knowing what airline to get on, combine to make a really stressful really upsetting ordeal.

As I was leaving the dorm last night, I saw you sleeping one of the couches, talking, and with your hands in your pants. Being the scientist I am I decided to stop and observe you. That was until you started to take off your pants and “jerk it” in the dorm lobby. I didnt know this was possible. You should make sure you fall asleep in your own room from now on, I am pretty sure you can get arrested for that.

Can you guys keep it down, you woke everyone on our floor and attracted an audience of at least 15 people who stood around your door laughing.

When you asked that kid if he wanted to fight, I bet you weren’t expecting him say ok. Did you just stand there as he socked you one because you where shocked he called your bluff, or has the hair bleach effected your ability to think.

Next time you start Calling me a piece of shit, and an asshole, make sure your not mistaking me for someone else.

When I was skating at school and fell backwards of my skate board, I looked to you to save me from the huge group of cackling black girls. Did you? No, you decided the appropriate action was to say “smooth move” and laugh at me. Thanks you ugly, popped collar, mongoloid.

Next time you do a keg stand don’t pick the two most inebriated guys at the party to hold you up. I don’t think your missing tooth appreciated it to much.

Hey Camel Choad, Eat Tuna in our stuffy dorm room one more time and see what happens.

Have you ever heard of headphones? Turning your Classical-Techno Hybrid music on at 6 in the morning is really, really starting to get old, if this keep happening I promise I will make a scene bigger than when the atom bomb was dropped on hiroshima.

Just because you are wearing a diaper as part of your Halloween costume doesn’t mean it’s ok with everyone at the party to get drunk and poo your self.